A Letter

 

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To: me

From: A better me

 

Hey there tired eyes, with nooses swinging just below your irises. Who knew purple didn’t look good on you? How are you? I can tell that right now the world is crashing down into a pile of rubble, and you are desperately trying to make sense of it. Keep doing that. Start sorting through it and make stories about what it once was, because whatever you create from this broken world will be the world you live in for the rest of your life. I can tell you that it will al be worth it. I’m with someone you and I both love enormously, and the wait and the suffering is all worth the outcome, the one thing we have both fought for. You have officially found your voice and it transcends the pages of your first book beautifully. She is with me now and will be with you then. The ring is on her finger, the one we bought on the Wednesday you left for home. We made the right choice getting that one, it looks damn good trust me.

If there is anything that I ask you to do, it is that you must trust me. Trusting me is what will make you into me into us. You have written about how you feel and how she is and what the two of us mean together, and you will never stop. The progression from your writing to my writing is a crescendo of nothing but hope and love in the finale of forever. (Even though you and I both know that forever is just a moment in time and everything we hold precious will transcend the limits of time and mortal minds.) So take that needle and thread, take the scissors and glue and begin patching yourself up because when you walk up to her doorstep holding a bouquet of lilies, looking your best, the first thing she is going to see is the strength you have wrapped yourself in. Pick her up, move forward, and never stop sharing the very thing you worked so hard to create. So while I sit here, writing this, she is next to me, and we are happy and we are okay and it’s time you know the person you will one day become, the person you are working out to be right at this very moment. Take your time, take a breath, and don’t be afraid of the future because the future is only ever what we make it out to be. I’ve never forgotten you, because without you I would not be me. And she will never forget you, because the universe is a small small place and you two make it yours. So never stop fighting, never stop believing or hoping, because a day like the one you’ve lived today is the day you are going to need it the most. Do I still use those? Damn well I do. We will never stop using those concepts, because they are the things that I have never stopped thanking for bringing the world back to where it belongs.

From: a better me

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